Question: What should I do about a co-worker who complains to me about problems in the office but doesn’t actually talk about them with the boss?
This question touches on several principles and leadership behavior.
General Principles
When you listen, it implies you agree. So, ideally you should walk away.
Don’t fall into a “gang” mentality.
If you continue to listen, ask some questions, i.e., “Have you discussed with “the boss?"
If your co-worker says, “No”, ask - “What stops you from doing that?”
If co-worker responds, “It won’t do any good.”, ask - “How do you know?”
If co-worker responds, “He/she doesn’t care.”, ask yourself...Do you agree with the comments being made? Or to some degree?
If you do, make suggestions on how to approach it.
Talk about words to use and solutions you might suggest to the problem(s).
Going to gripe to the boss may cause your boss to look negatively upon you. Bosses like solutions not problems.
Remember: It is much easier to be negative than positive or realistic. Having a positive attitude (while remaining realistic) is a vital characteristic of a leader. Also, most of us don’t like change or conflict and the two are often related. If you are not willing to approach a problem, stop talking about it before you become the problem.
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